---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Mon, 1 Apr 1996 09:29:07 -0700 (MST)

Subject: 42 reasons not to have sex (fwd)
1. The pitter patter of little feet
2. Never let 'em see you sweat
3. Your parents might realize that you're not 12 years old anymore
4. Naked women
5. Guilt, guilt, and GUILT (Whatever!)
6. You might like it
7. Rhenquist, Scalia, Kennedy, Souter, Thomas
8. Paying back oral sex debts (Not sure this one counts)
9. Only pagans procreate
10. Castration
11. You might fall in lust or, Heaven forbid, love
12. Pubic hair in the teeth
13. Too many lights on in the room
14. Your roommate and neighbors can't sleep with all that screaming
15. Axl Rose
16. Since that nasty little Gulf War, there's no money left for research and treatment of those nasty little Sexually Transmitted Diseases
17. Why bother when you can do it yourself.
18. Taking care of the orgasm deficit
19. Yeast infections
20. Too sticky
21. Messes up your hair
22. Charley Horses
23. Bladder infections
24. women
25. "It's only a cold sore"
26. Photographers with infrared cameras (remember, if it can be seen from a public place, it's not private)
27. Hetero men who ask "Did you come yet?"
28. SOMEBODY has to sleep in the wet spot
29. Taking off the jimmy-hat
30. In horror flicks, people having sex are always the first to be killed by axe murderers in hockey masks
31. The ever popular Eternal Damnation
32. Smegma
33. You still live with your parents
34. You love her but you're not in love with her
35. Creation of sounds not meant to be emitted by the human body
36. Drooling
37. Letters to the Editor
38. Calling out the wrong name
39. Potential threat to your political aspirations (unless you're a Kennedy)
40. Your brother gets home from school at 3:00
41. No one to have sex with
42. Carpet burn

e1996-04_42-reasons-no-sex.htm

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