Date: Fri, 26 May 1995 09:12:01 -0400 (EDT) From: John Lupton
Subject: Why Ask Why?? (was re: Toasted Cats on the Hawaiian Interstate)
Sender: "Bluegrass music discussion."
To: Multiple recipients of list BGRASS-L

Posted-Date: Fri, 26 May 95 9:12:01 EDT
Mailer: Elm [revision: 70.85]

Ben Austin asks the semi-musical question:

**>P.S. Since everyone seemed to enjoy the cat/toast question so much,
**>here's another'n:
**>
**> Why does Hawaii have an Interstate Highway? OK, let's nip this in the bud right now...there's a whole list of these circulating around on this giant cyber-copying machine we call The Net. Here's the current (far as I know) canonical list, I would add only (courtesy of former Phillies pitcher and team lunatic Larry Andersen): What do they ship styrofoam in??

>>      WHY ASK WHY?
>>------------
>> >>Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink
>>and drive?
>> >>Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
>> >>Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
>> >>Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of
>>parachutes?
>> >>Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited
>>there?
>> >>Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
>> >>Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
>> >>How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
>> >>If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks
>>on the doors?
>> >>If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
>> >>If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to
>>the pan?
>> >>If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a
>>height, what would happen?
>> >>If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when
>>you turn on the headlights?
>> >>You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if
>>the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
>> >>Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
>> >>Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
>> >>Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a
>>shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called
>>cargo?
>> >>You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes,
>>why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
>> >>Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you
>>turn down the volume on the radio?
 

>> >> >>Did you know who in 1923 was:
>> >>1. President of the largest steel company?
>>2. President of the largest gas company?
>>3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
>>4. Greatest wheat speculator?
>>5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
>>6. Great Bear of Wall Street?
>> >>These men should have been considered some of the world's most
>>successful men. At least they found the secret of making money.
>> >>Now more than 55 years later, do you know what has become of these
>>men?
>> >>1. The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died
>> a pauper.
>> >>2. The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, is
>> insane.
>> >>3. The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released from
>> prison to die at home.
>> >>4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad,
>> penniless.
>> >>5. The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot
>> himself.
>> >>6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died of suicide.
>> >>The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf
>>championship, Gene Sarazen, won the U.S. Open and PGA Tournaments.
>>Today he is still playing golf and is solvent.
>> >>CONCLUSION: STOP WORRYING ABOUT BUSINESS AND START PLAYING GOLF
 

>> >>This letter originated in The Netherlands, has been passed around the
>>world at least 20 times, bringing good luck to everyone who passed
>>it on. The one who breaks the chain will have bad luck.
>> >>Do not keep this letter. Do not send money. Just have your
>>wonderful, efficient cpu make five additional copies and send it to
>>five of your friends to whom you wish good luck. You will see that
>>something good happens to you four days from now if the chain is not
>>broken. This is not a joke. You will receive good luck in four
>>days.
>>

e1995-05_why-golf-media.htm

Chain Letter Evolution (a history of paper chain letters).