A
public message from: The Self
Appointed Nonviolent Truth Avengers
To: The
culprit entities COKE and ET
Charge: Coke
and ET deliberately MISLED children as to the nutritional value of
Coke, for selfish purposes.
Evidence: In ET, the leading child actor
says of coke: "Its food"
Finding:
Coke
has NO nutritional
use for the vast majority of Americans and probably contributes to tooth decay and
obesity. Therefor it was
misleading and probably harmful to call Coke "food."
Reprimand:
1. Ten copies of this letter to be
mailed anonymously, one each to culprit entities.
2. The slogan "COKE IS JUNK!" , optionally signed "SANTA",
to be written at ten playgrounds.
3. The slogan "ET SUCKS"
to be written at five adult locations.
Comments:
1. SANTA hopes that reprimand #2 will
discourage the use of cocaine.
2. Since ET otherwise portrayed
commendable values
of nonviolence and affection its punishment was reduced.
3. But SANTA does agree that ET vulgarly
misused the divine symbolism of Michelangelo; however SANTA concerns
itself solely with secular offenses.
4. To all advertisers:
If the shoe fits,
STOP F**KING
WITH KIDS' MINDS YOU
GREEDY A**HOLES!
WE ARE WATCHING! - SANTA