This letter is being
sent to you for we know you are critically
interested in your lawn, and the Spring season is now upon us.
This is a fertilizer
club and it will not cost you a cent to join.
Upon receiving this letter, go to the address on the top of the
list and shit on the front lawn. You will not be the only one there, so
do not feel embarrassed.
Then make five copies of this letter and send them to five of your
friends who appreciate good lawns.
You will not get any money or checks, but within one week if this
chain is not broken, there will be 9,216 people shitting on your lawn.
Your reward will come next Spring when you have the greenest lawn in the
Mrs. Harry Butts
Mrs. Smelly B. Hind
236 Bed Pan Court 476 Diarrhea Way
Mrs. C. Howie Farts
Mrs. Carrie Potts
682 Fertilizer Way 1422 Enema Drive
Mr. A. Bigger Movements
Mrs. Lucy Bowels
89 Rectum Road 897 Corn Cob Lane
Mrs. Charles Syringe
Mr. and Mrs. Took A. Fizzik
1420 Suppository Lane 434 Running Loose Lane
P.S. If you are constipated, pass this on to your
next door neighbor.
Do not break this chain. (One man didn't give a shit and lost his
The Paper Chain Letter Archive - contents Chain Letter Evolution.